I am crying on the floor.
hE JUST STARTS DANCING AND THEN EVERYONES LIKE AW YEAH ITS COOL MAN
I remember travelling 1.5 hours one way to see my ex when we were in high school and always being so excited. I am having the sads tonight. :(
i have too many emotions and my university focus is dying
there are like 4 assignments due and 2 prac exams next week
This is a Kimono (Japanese):
This is a Hanfu (Chinese):
This is a Cheongsam (Chinese):
This is a Hanbok (Korean):
THIS POST IS IMPORTANT.
It’s interesting to note that that the garments that have a cross over style when worn correctly are all worn with the left breast over the right.That is because these countries tend to wrap right over left when they are wrapping the dead.
I know this is from the onion but I honestly don’t even doubt it
i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer
This is what it means to be an introvert. Not being shy. This.
This is honestly the best poster I have found in a while supporting breast cancer awareness. I am honestly so sick of seeing, “set the tatas free” and “save the boobies”. There is no reason in hell a life threatening, life ruining disease should be sexualized. “Don’t wear a bra day,” go fuck yourselves. You’re not saving a pair of tits, you’re saving the entire package: mind, body, and soul included. Women are not just a pair of breasts.
stop hating women 2014
… but.. how?!
how the fuck did you manage to do that
gasoline instead of washing liquid?
This is a somewhat coherent, rather tedious post about feels, relationships, sex and betrayal. It is a recount of events and if you are reading this, I want you to know that your conservative and judgmental opinion is invalid.
I don’t mention my relationship much because it was pretty happy and uneventful from my perspective. But here is the more dramatic end of it.
My boyfriend of 6 years and I broke up. We have spent the most impressionable of our years growing up together. The wound is still fresh and my mind tries to staunch the bleeding with university assignments and torturous self-discipline. I would not say our relationship was troubled. We had our ups and downs with infinitely more ups than downs. We were comfortable, loving and dedicated up until about a month before the break up. It would be an arduous task to recount the almost 6 years we shared but he has been my best friend and by the time 5 years had passed, I genuinely felt that I was prepared to put aside our cultural/lifestyle differences and work towards being able to face the world together for the rest of our lives.
Here are some quick facts:
He comes from a western family and I come from a chinese family. He comes from a high socio-economic background and I come from a mid/low-socio-economic background.
Okay, now this is the part where people usually become judgmental and maddening because polygamy and bisexuality (oh no, the humanity). We held an eventful open relationship for the last year. From my perspective, I felt emotionally secure and knew that I was unable to sexually satisfy due to the lifestyle I had taken up. I was working 20 hour weeks with a university course load that would not allow enough mental or physical relaxation to stir my sober loins (haha). I always prioritised verbal communication and bonding over anything sexual during our limited time together. I am most definitely not a fan of sexual bonding. During that time I slept with several other men (not particularly sober), only on one occasion even giving them a second thought. (On that note, I also managed to get myself into my first and rather lovely threesome situation with two very gentle and respecting men who I am very appreciative for being very accommodating and caring. On this adventure, one of them had an unfortunate encounter with me brushing my teeth naked on the toilet [which is not actually a habit of mine - thank goodness! ha.]). I am someone who falls in love with laughter, words, habits and facial expressions. My partner was (and is) bisexual and his sexuality confused and troubled him throughout our relationship. I believed it selfish of me to keep him exclusive to my vagina from the age of 15 when he hadn’t even explored or established his identity. That was (roughly) my reasoning behind our relationship dynamics. For this to work, I put all my trust in him. All of it. Absolutely all of it. And his, in me. What I had not predicted that whilst I functioned according to rules that I constantly set up for myself which kept me emotionally committed, my significant other had not. And he did not appropriately communicate this with me nor did he try to stop himself from crossing boundaries. So, we find ourselves in a situation where he wants to be with another woman who has the time to satisfy sexually, fits in with his friendship group and is probably more romantically inclined than I.
Personally, I do not have an issue with being uninvolved with my partner’s social life. I have always found his friends less than accommodating with absolutely no shared interests. A couple of them I found intellectually stimulating and lovely, but not enough to put in the social effort and deal with the excessive alcohol consumption that always seemed to occur. That is not my choice of lifestyle. My social circles were not a part of his life either. None of this fazed me, really.
Secondly, I admit I rarely had time for us over the last year or two but I hold many more responsibilities than he does. He comes from a high socio-economic background. He does not work, has always lived with his parents and his mother is willing to financially support him indefinitely. On the other hand, I am bearing the financial burden of having moved out of home previously, paying the costs of managing a car and I am expected to contribute as the second income earner to a (now) rather low-earning single-income family as soon as possible. I am studying hard for a stable, generous income to provide both for my family and at the time, him and our future family. I work part time on top of my studies so that I have the funds for transport so I can visit him, so that there is money for us to travel and do leisurely activities, so that I can afford to splurge on the occasional gift. I need the money to take care of my physical and mental health, so that I am no longer a financial burden on my father, so that my younger sister has the funds to travel on exchange. In my spare time, I help to organise my family’s health needs, transport needs, write dad’s resumes etc. My family are first-generation immigrants and my parents don’t have fluent English and often don’t understand paperwork or processes. On top of that, I am studying a course where, for example, I am currently expected to complete 60 hours of work per week (stupid and ridiculous, I know) and trying to keep up my fitness/general wellbeing.
The other woman works full-time in an admin job with no tertiary qualifications and has plenty of time to frequently suck his dick and buy him flowers (I am biased and angry but tbh that’s pretty much it). They both hold no responsibility to anyone but themselves.
So anyway, the situation wasn’t even clear to me until one day, the other woman left overseas for a few months and I noticed how badly he was reacting to it. I told him that I was okay to help him through it but I did not expect it to be an issue (because personally, I can actually get quite sad when my female best friend goes overseas too since I am a total wimp). I expected him to get back to focusing on our relationship and moving forward with us within the month. But that did not happen. He kept saying, “look, I am going to have to wait for her to get back”, and that is when I finally broke down and left. That was the only sign I needed to tell me that the emotional security was not there anymore, there was no commitment and I sure as hell was not about to compete for a place in someone’s life.
I feel immensely underappreciated. I was always planning for our future and he never saw the importance of that. I was preparing a financial safety net and trying to keep him happy at the same time. He was always wanting to live in the now because he had no reason to worry for the future. One of the last things I said before I left I was, “I know our relationship isn’t easy but nothing good comes easy.” and he responded with, “that’s not true”. And it hit me. It hit me hard. The difference in the amount of work we had needed to put in throughout our lives was so fucking immense, there was just no way he was ever going to understand. Even after all this time, he couldn’t look past what he wanted and his desire for immediate gratification to see what I needed. He wasn’t willing to wait one more year for me to finish my degree to see how life would change.
The worst part is the loss of our friendship. I had trust in his judgments. I had trust in our relationship. I thought he understood me. I am not finding it hard to look past the break up, I am finding it impossibly difficult to look past the betrayal.